I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
