i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
please don't ironically join a cult
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