i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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