i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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