oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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