This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
