Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize