ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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