Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
