So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
