oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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