Will you blow on my dice?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
