I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
