this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
