On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
