I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
