Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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