If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
