she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
