i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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