if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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