If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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