how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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