just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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