I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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