I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I can't turn off my feet"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
