sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.