I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
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i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
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I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.