I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
