dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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