Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
