Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
