Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
