It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
