you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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