Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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