i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You were trust falling into bushes
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
