You can't motorboat a personality
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
