I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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