On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
