Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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