dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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