I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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