Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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