Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
