I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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