why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My vagina just clenched in fear
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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