I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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