It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
