It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
