i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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