don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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