I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Send help, water and tortillas.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just want to make out with him forever
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
