they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize