Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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