worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
