so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
