Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
