Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
