why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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