This dress was meant to end up on your floor
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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