SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
