My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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