fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
