Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
