At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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