So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
