Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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