I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
