went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
