the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
