i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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