I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I want a musical about memes.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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